Yet another beautiful, nourishing OD for Life Zoom call. You’d think I would stop being surprised. But this one had an unusual constricted energy going in, so I wasn’t sure. The topic was how to deal with resistance to the nature-based practices so many of us have found powerful – even essential – in aligning work and organizations with life’s ability to thrive. Yet even with such a prickly topic, we found our way to delight, insight, and a lasting sense of courage.
This was the third call in a series.
The first call had explored: “What does ‘wildness’ mean? And how might we translate that into the organizations we work with and within?”
The second asked: “Where are examples of Earth-based activities to do with individuals or groups?”
There had been a flurry of excitement around an exploration of ‘wildness.” And no surprise: the “how do you do it” call attracted the most people.
But “how do you deal with resistance?” brought together a determined little group of us, four women and our gentle host, Bruce Anderson, who led the conversation with his own resistance to talking about resistance. “It doesn’t seem very life-affirming,” he shared. But there we were.
In his wisdom, he didn’t guide us into a discussion of how we convince the others, those pesky resisters. Instead, he asked: “What is your response to resistance in others? And in yourself?”
We noted the original, programmed urge to build a case, to try to convince.
Failing at that, and growing more savvy, we turned to the more curious, compassionate version of ourselves. It’s so much more enlightened to find the underlying place of common ground. Or, it’s a necessity: “meeting people where they are” is also meeting the income where it is. We have to resource ourselves well to show up curious and compassionate: enough sleep, enough presence. If only politics were characterized by such listening and openness, we lamented.
And then we noted the calling some of us feel to work only with those who are ready for what we’re offering. Here, the response to resistance is to walk away. The discernment to know when to walk away and when to engage seems to come primarily through our bodies; the search for a list of questions and criteria has never revealed more than our own gut feeling does. We acknowledged the great unspoken privilege of choosing only our preferred projects. At the same time, we’re not going to convince the whole world. There’s some kindness for everyone in walking away.
We also spent some time honoring resistance. Aren’t we all resisters, too? Isn’t resistance a form of wildness? Of self-willedness, as Tom Mansfield shares with his Cards for Life? But looking more deeply, the resistance we were most triggered by was the resistance to some act of healing, to addressing the wounds that are so rampant in society.
One of us revealed that she just tells people: this is what we’re going to do [walk outside, reflect in the woods....]. And then they do it! And it works! Who knew this was an option? The more I think about it, the more I realize this is also my truth. In the moment, I'm not sure anyone has ever resisted my invitation to go outside, to go for a walk, to take time to reflect among the trees. The assumption of resistance comes earlier, in the abstract design part of the process, sitting in sterile, windowless spaces that we’ve come to accept as our natural habitat. But the reality may be that we all still have that child within us who hopes the teacher will let us have class outside today.
Another one of us talked through her consideration to be transparent with a potential client about her nervousness, offering to frame the relationship as one of reciprocity: she will invite them to go differently, they will talk openly about their own fears, they will find their way together. I found this an inspired approach, too.
Bruce recounted something from an earlier conversation he’d had: “Anytime you bring art, imagination or the feminine, it’s inconvenient in an organization.” That feels like the center of gravity we’re working against.
But perhaps even stronger than that pull of gravity is some deeper truth: we all want to belong. Every one of us, even those who resist designing a walk into the agenda. “If you can connect people around belonging AND tie that in with nature, you’ve got a high-powered ball of energy to work with,” says Bruce.
And isn’t that the point of it all? Connecting in nature is about connecting with our deepest, truest sense of belonging in the world. There is courage and conviction in remembering that. The invitation to connect with and in nature is not about me and whether you will find me and my activity valuable. That may, in fact, be something worth resisting. Instead, I am inviting on behalf of nature. I am inviting on behalf of the part of you that yearns to belong so much more deeply within the world.
This is what we're going to do, I'll say.
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